Our Advice to Families
We aim to give families the best chance of finding the right au pair to suit their needs. Please find below our list of the most commonly asked questions that we have received from families.
Our advice is based on the Council of Europe's Agreement on Au Pair Placement. We have done our best to ensure that all our information is correct and up-to-date but if you have any comments please do not hesitate to contact us.

An au pair is a young foreign person who works for and lives as part of a host family. Very often an au pair becomes a 'big sister' within a host family and will usually eat meals with the family and join in many of the family activities and outings.
Au pairs travel to another country to improve their foreign language skills and to gain a new cultural experience. Typically au pairs are young women between 17 and 27 years old (although in some cases they may be a little older and now more than ever males are choosing to become au pairs also).
An au pair will take on a share of the day-to-day duties of the family in exchange for board and pocket money.
An au pair can be very young and initially this can be a very daunting experience for her so the more welcome and comfortable she feels the better the experience is likely to be for everyone!
Duties and responsibilities of an au pair will vary from family to family.
A family with very young children will have very different needs to a family with school-going children or a family in which either the mother or the father is at home will have very different needs to a family in which both parents work full-time. The most important thing when deciding what your au pair's duties and responsibilities are is that you agree these with your au pair from the very beginning.
Some duties and responsibilities may include:
- Getting your children ready for the day including washing and dressing them.
- Bringing your children to and from school.
- Bringing your children to after-school activities.
- Helping them with their homework.
- Playing games and doing activities such as painting, baking etc with your children.
- Bringing your children on outings such as going to the zoo, playground, beach, baby and toddler groups etc.
- Doing some grocery shopping.
- Preparing your children's meals and feeding them.
- Light housework such as tidying, cleaning, hoovering, emptying the dishwasher etc.
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An au pair can be expected to:
- Work up to 25 hours per week in the United Kingdom, and 30 hours in Ireland.
- Do two evenings of babysitting per week (with a maximum of one of these to be at the weekend).
- To have one full day off at the weekend and one full weekend off per month.
- Have 5 free evenings per week.
- Get 1 week paid holiday per 6 months.
Both au pairs and host families need time to themselves and the evenings is usually the best time for this. During this time the au pair may meet up with friends, watch TV, go on the internet, go to English classes or spend time in their room etc.
If the au pair chooses to attend English classes the family must ensure that the au pair's working schedule allows her free time to go to class.
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The length of time an au pair stays with a family should be agreed from the beginning.
In Ireland and the UK this can be as short as 2 months for a summer au pair and in this case a college student on summer break, may be a suitable option. In general an au pair will stay with a family for between 6 and 12 months but can stay for as long as 2 years.
According to European Legislation, light housework to be undertaken by the au pair is normally looking after children and general housework (such as light cleaning, help in the kitchen, tidying). In all cases it is prohibited the 'au pair' is forced to do heavier housework (such as mowing the lawn).
An au pair is not obliged to drive but a family who requires an au pair to drive will have this in their profile. When discussing au pairing duties at the beginning of the au pair stay, driving duties should be agreed.
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The au pair would usually pay for their own travel expenses and English classes unless otherwise agreed with the host family.
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If your au pair is from the EU or EEA they can apply for a European Health Insurance Card or EHIC (formerly the E111 form). This allows the holder to access necessary healthcare in the public system of any EU / EEA member state or Switzerland if he or she becomes ill or injured while on a temporary stay in that country.
Your EHIC card will be valid for up to 2 years and there is no charge for the EHIC card, it is a free public service. The card does not cover the cost of treatment in a private setting.
Au pairs travelling to the UK and Ireland should take out their own travel insurance.
The only legal document that an EU/EEA citizen must present on arrival in another member state is a doctor's letter confirming that they are in good health and this must be dated within 3 months preceding their start date as an “au pair”.
It would be recommended that you get a childcare reference from your au pair before you make an offer.
It is up to you and your au pair whether you wish to agree an au pair contract. While there is no official au pair contract for the United Kingdom or Ireland, some families prefer to have a contract as it gives a sense of security. Other families feel that a list of duties is sufficient and are more comfortable with this arrangement as they may find a contract to be too formal.
If you wish to use an au pair contract, you can find some contract templates here.
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If the au pair is already in your country, invite her around to your home to meet her. This way she can get to meet your children and get an idea of how your home works. The more you know about each other and what is expected from both parties, the better the whole au pair experience is likely to be.
For an au pair who is coming from abroad, talk on the phone or Skype the au pair as many times as possible to iron out any potential problems when she arrives. For example if you need an au pair to drive make sure to confirm that the au pair has a full driver's licence and that she is willing to drive when she comes to live with you.
Again au pair duties and responsibilities should be outlined and agreed from the very beginning to ensure that the au pair stay works out as well as possible. Ask the au pair for any relevant references in particular from any past childcare experiences.